a cause for celebration

Today our wedding is being featured on the super amazing Southern Weddings Magazine blog! Yipee!!! I've been reading their blog and magazine since before we were even engaged, and they were a huge source of inspiration during the planning process, so it's an honor to have been picked. Go check it out:

Part I

Part II

I guess what this really means is that now I can start the full-fledged wedding recap! So excited and can't wait to share the day with you!

pardon the interruption...

Hi all! I just wanted to interrupt these honeymoon recaps to excitedly exclaim that we have our pro photos! Actually, we've had them since last Thursday. However, for the past week I've turned into quite the selfish photo hoarder. I did send our family and friends the preview slideshow, but since Thursday the full online gallery has been allll mine (and the mister's, but I'm sure he doesn't click through them obsessively in his free time - like me). I still have to wait for the disc and there are so many pre-wedding things I have yet to share. So until I finally get to the wedding day recaps, here's a little teaser:

photo by the ridiculously talented Heidi of Our Labor of Love

just a little sneak peak...

My MISTER (!) and I are now in Barbados - waiting for our third room change (but that's a long story). I don't have much to say about Saturday other than, it was absolutely perfect. I can't wait to see the pro pics and tell you all about it when we get back!!

this is it

Our day is finally here. Almost two years in the making! As I type this, I am sitting in bed in my parent's cottage on the wedding property. With the perfect view of my beautiful dress hanging on the closet door in front of me. These are my last few moments of silence and reflection before the hustle and bustle of the day begins. I am ready. Today I am ready to commit myself to my best friend, my complement, my one true love. Today. Tomorrow. And always.

See you all on the other side!

omg

Seriously. I'm not sure I can even get out the words to describe how amazing this is.




This is our ring bearer pillow. Nancy (the hankie lady) made this. Out of antique linens. This was the example my mom showed her:

(source)

Sorry Martha, you lose this one. Honestly, I'm not sure I can even express how beautiful I think this is. All I keep imagining is my future daughter(s) and granddaughter(s) using this same pillow at their weddings, adding their names and wedding dates to the back. Passing down a piece of history - that started with me and the future mister. Such an amazing heirloom piece. Such a beautiful gift.

Do you plan on passing down any of the items you used at your wedding? Or do you have any heirloom pieces that were passed down to you?

money, money, money...money!

(source)

I've read and heard, many times, that money is one of the biggest points of contention in relationships. I'm not sure how accurate that statement is, statistically, but I definitely don't disagree. Money is very personal. It can be difficult to discuss and incredibly stressful, especially if couples don't share the same spending (and saving) habits. Every person and every couple, though, has their own way of organizing and managing their finances. I'd like to share how the future mister and I organize our money because I remember trying to research similar information when we were preparing to move in together back in the spring of 2009. Again, this is not to say that our way is better than anyone else's, but rather it's what works for us.

Around the time that the future mister and I first started contemplating our move to Georgia, I began worrying about how we would deal with our money. I knew that I didn't want us to combine our finances completely, but I also wasn't a huge fan of keeping everything separate. It can get quite confusing when you have multiple bills and have to keep track of who owes who and how much. After some thought and deliberation (and research), I suggested to the future mister that we open up a joint bank account. Since we each earn different salaries and have different amounts of debt and/or personal bills to pay, I thought that contributing a percentage would be more fair than deciding on a flat amount. At the time that I presented this information, the future mister was not on board. Unfortunately, I can't recall the reasons why, but that's neither here nor there.

Eventually we moved and only a few weeks after that we were engaged. We had not been living in our apartment a full month when the future mister, out of the blue, told me that he had changed his mind (perhaps he just needed to warm up to the idea, or maybe he was waiting for the engagement - who knows). The process of setting up a joint checking account was fairly simple. We each have checks and a debit card, and can both access our account online. Once that was complete, we sat down and agreed on the parameters. Every pay period, we each contribute a certain percentage of our paycheck to the joint account. This money is used for rent, utilities, groceries (which includes cleaning supplies and basic toiletries), and joint gifts, in addition to food, entertainment and travel that we do as a couple. Any other bills (for instance, I have some student loans, a car payment, car insurance, a cell phone bill, and a fitness membership), gifts, hobbies, more expensive toiletries/beauty products (like makeup), and individual food, entertainment or travel is paid for separately. In addition to our joint checking account and separate checking accounts, we each have our own savings accounts with enough of a safety net for us to live for a few months if one or both of us were to lose our job/teaching assistantship. Someday, in the near future, we would like to set up a joint savings account as well.

So far, our system has worked out very well. We never have to worry about owing each other anything and neither one of us has to feel guilty or ask permission if we want to purchase something for ourselves or spend our personal money in some other form or fashion. I'm glad that we were able to discuss this openly and come up with a solution that meets our current needs.

What kind of financial arrangement do you and your significant other have? Do you have any advice?

confetti poppers

(source)

Doesn't this look like a fun alternative to the usual flower petals, rice, bubbles, or sparkler send off?

day of coordinator

A few weeks ago I mentioned that we had recently signed the contract and paid the deposit for a Day of Coordinator. I am extremely excited to have this checked off the list! I knew from early on that I wanted a coordinator of some kind, but was concerned that one wouldn't fit into the budget or that it would be considered unnecessary. Luckily, both my parents were on board with this idea and the future mister and I met with someone back in June.

After our meeting, we decided to go with their lowest package, which they describe as "for the couple with their event professionals and facilities confirmed, but who require a coordinator to facilitate their rehearsal, pre-ceremony pictures and ceremony." More specifically, this package includes:

planning sessions at 3 months, 1-2 months and 1 week prior to the event
unlimited email and phone conversations the month of the event
personalized, detailed timeline of pre-ceremony and post-ceremony photos
personalized, detailed timeline of ceremony
copies of personalized timelines distributed to all appropriate wedding professionals the day of the event
etiquette advice and guidance
complete wedding rehearsal coordination (1.5 hours)
pre-ceremony and ceremony coordination (4 hours)
emergency coordinator kit available at event

Our coordinator will also be able to handle some set-up as long as it is minor. For anything that is more involved or time consuming, our coordinator suggested we hire a second person at an hourly rate. We can also upgrade to full day-of coordination (to include the reception) at any time. This is where I'm torn and would love some advice. Initially, I was very happy with just rehearsal, pre-ceremony and ceremony coordination in order to save some money. After the post-ceremony photos, I figured that the DJ and catering manager could take things from there. But now I'm thinking that an extra $200 might be worth the peace of mind that comes from having a coordinator there for the entire day, pre-ceremony through reception. Which do you think is more important - saving some money or peace of mind?

time flies

...when you're having fun planning a wedding and under the 1 year mark. Only 8 months to go! According to the email I received from theknot.com today, this month I should be registering for gifts, choosing a cake, and planning our table decor - done, done and done.

Here's what we've got going on:

save-the-dates - work in progress
hotel blocks - almost complete; waiting to sign one last contract
transportation - we've picked a company, but can't sign a contract until the new year
day-of-coordinator - the contract is signed and the deposit was mailed in yesterday!
bridesmaids dresses - heading to Atlanta with my girls on October 9th

Right now I feel like I still have a good grasp on things since we have most of the big ticket items out of the way. I have a feeling, though, that all of the small details will start to sneak up on me as the months progress. Did anyone else feel this way during their planning?

I'm marrying a grad student

(source)

Both of these comics are a pretty good representation of my life.

Giant box of ramen from Sam's Club - check
Bill paying - check
Hours of proofreading - check (I've even fallen asleep once or twice!)
5.5 to 6 more years until graduation - check

And although the future mister's thesis isn't dedicated to me (probably wise, since we weren't yet engaged), I did get a mention!

To be honest, I probably have it pretty good. While I pay the bills, menu plan, grocery shop, keep the house tidy, proofread/edit, act as a sounding board, reassure, encourage, and praise, the future mister does all of his own laundry, helps with the cleaning when possible, and tries to carve out some time for the two of us every weekend. Unfortunately, it's sometimes very difficult for me to remember what he does do to help after I've come home from a long day at work, am tired, cranky and starving, the house is torn apart and I need help right this second to get dinner on the table. It is frustrating, to say the least. And if the future mister is tired, cranky and starving too? Whoa - bad news bears.

There are definitely ways that we can both improve - PATIENCE probably being the biggest area - but I'm glad that we are doing this together. I'm not really consoled by the fact that it "will all be over someday" because, let's face it, five or six years is a long time (on top of the three that he has already completed). I am reassured, though, by all of the day to day victories: making a good comment in class, getting positive reviews from his students and professors, publishing an article and, my favorite, the way my future mister's face lights up when he finds an exciting piece of new research. It is my hope that these little things will continue to sustain me through the coming days, weeks, months and years.

Anyone else in grad school or living with, engaged or married to someone who is? How do you deal?

musically torn

Last week the future mister and I sat down to watch Shutter Island. Has anyone else seen it? Kind of creepy and, well, creepy movie = creepy music.

Imagine my surprise when a song started playing that I associate with weddings:





Max Richter - On the Nature of Daylight

I don't think it's a very popular song, but I first heard it on our videographer's website (click on Enter Gallery to watch a short clip). There's just something about it that fills me up with emotion. Sigh.

So, naturally, I want to find a way to incorporate this song into our ceremony. I always thought I would walk down the aisle to Canon in D, and now I'm torn. Here are the three options I've come up with:

1. On the Nature of Daylight - during the seating of guests; Canon in D - Bride's entrance

2. On the Nature of Daylight - Processional; Canon in D - Bride's entrance

3. Canon in D - Processional; On the Nature of Daylight - Bride's entrance

Which option do you think I should choose?

a whole lot of lovely

The following photos are from a sorority sister's wedding back in June. I wasn't very close with this sister as she was a year below me, but these photographs are too beautiful not to share.

(click here to see more)

I absolutely adore the middle photo (of the family tree)! What a great idea! I was just planning on framing the wedding photos of family members and putting them out on either the gift, guest book or cake table, but I might have to rethink that. So lovely.

If you displayed family wedding photos at your wedding, how did you do it?

refreshing

In a world where we are constantly bombarded with statistics and stories of failed marriages, it is SO refreshing to see something like this.

I hope that the future mister and I will still be cuddling and kissing after 72 years of marriage.

food for thought

"The pure, simple truth is that sparks do fade, but they are supposed to fade. It’s the flame in your marriage that drives your relationship forward and ensures that your path is lit in front of you. So discover what kind of flame you have, find what it takes to keep that flame burning and use help to re-light the fire when it grows dim. Because when you’re marriage is healthy and happy, you glow from the inside out."

I read this on the swmag blog a week or so ago. It's about keeping the sparks alive, or rather keeping the fire burning, after you're married. Full of wisdom. Check it out.