Tuesday, August 24, 2010

I'm marrying a grad student

Both of these comics are a pretty good representation of my life.

Giant box of ramen from Sam's Club - check
Bill paying - check
Hours of proofreading - check (I've even fallen asleep once or twice!)
5.5 to 6 more years until graduation - check

And although the future mister's thesis isn't dedicated to me (probably wise, since we weren't yet engaged), I did get a mention!

To be honest, I probably have it pretty good. While I pay the bills, menu plan, grocery shop, keep the house tidy, proofread/edit, act as a sounding board, reassure, encourage, and praise, the future mister does all of his own laundry, helps with the cleaning when possible, and tries to carve out some time for the two of us every weekend. Unfortunately, it's sometimes very difficult for me to remember what he does do to help after I've come home from a long day at work, am tired, cranky and starving, the house is torn apart and I need help right this second to get dinner on the table. It is frustrating, to say the least. And if the future mister is tired, cranky and starving too? Whoa - bad news bears.

There are definitely ways that we can both improve - PATIENCE probably being the biggest area - but I'm glad that we are doing this together. I'm not really consoled by the fact that it "will all be over someday" because, let's face it, five or six years is a long time (on top of the three that he has already completed). I am reassured, though, by all of the day to day victories: making a good comment in class, getting positive reviews from his students and professors, publishing an article and, my favorite, the way my future mister's face lights up when he finds an exciting piece of new research. It is my hope that these little things will continue to sustain me through the coming days, weeks, months and years.

Anyone else in grad school or living with, engaged or married to someone who is? How do you deal?

1 comment:

  1. Great post! I'm about to become a grad student next week, so we'll see how well my husband and I adjust. I'm excited about the opportunity, and he's super supportive and happy for me, so we'll see how it goes. My program is only a two-year master's program, though, so I can defintiely see the light at the end of the tunnel.