Friday, May 28, 2010

the great kid debate

To have kids (at the wedding) or not to have kids? I'm not sure about other couples, but this has been one of our biggest debates during wedding planning so far.

I LOVE children. I have been babysitting since I was 13, worked in various day cares, volunteered at the boys and girls club, and minored in Human Services in college. Despite this fact, I don't want children at my wedding (except for the ring bearer and flower girl). My reasoning is that we have a fairly limited guest list - 150 max. When you take into account that our extended families are on the large side, the numbers add up pretty quickly. In my opinion, having children at our wedding would take invites away from many adult friends and family members that I really want there to share in our love and marriage. Now I do remember attending a wedding when I was maybe 8 and I had so much fun! But there were less than 10 children there. Our number is closer to 50 or 60. Of course I know that not all parents would choose to bring their kids, but I don't want to take my chances.

Well, at the moment we are in the midst of working on the guest list. Although we had cleared the no kids issue with both of our parents months ago, concerns are being raised. What do you do if a person you really want to come to the wedding more than likely won't come if their child(ren) can't come as well? Do you make exceptions? My thoughts are no because if you make exceptions for one person you have to make them for everyone or risk upsetting/offending people.

While trying to come up with a solution, I came across a website for an event babysitting agency. They will send 3 or more CPR certified sitters to your event or even off site at a hotel. Now it is not in the budget for us to fork over the money for group sitters. However, this agency will also set parents up with individual sitters that will stay with their child in their hotel room.

Do you think that this would be considered more of a meet in the middle? Or should I try to rearrange our budget to hire group sitters? Where do you stand on the great kid debate? Any thoughts, suggestions?


  1. We’re not having kids at our wedding, aside from the teenage daughter of a family that’s close to us. I agree that if you’re imposing a “no-kid” rule, you ashould pick an age limit, as we did, and stick to that rule for everyone, without making exceptions. If hiring a babysitting service isn’t in your budget, I don’t think you should feel pressured to offer it. There’s nothing wrong with giving parents the information and then letting them contact the agency directly if they’re interested. And if they’re not, or can’t find a sitter for the their children, they’ll unfortunately have to decline the invitation. As long as you’re OK with that, everything should work out fine.

  2. I think it's really wonderful that you're looking at alternatives for your family who have children. So I hate to sound discouraging, but I would not be surprised if parents end up not using this service. Usually parents like to check out an agency and the people who will be in contact with their children prior to leaving them.

    Offering this service is a gesture that hopefully many people would appreciate. But don't take it personally if people don't use it. Good luck with your planning :)